Are you pregnant (or trying to conceive) and thinking of working with a doula for your birth and/or postpartum? This blog looks at how to choose a doula that’s right for you.
Welcoming a baby into the world is one of the most transformative experiences of your life. But new parents are uniquely vulnerable because they don’t know what they don’t know - finding the right support is critical. This is true whether it’s your first baby or you’re adding to your family. As a birth doula in Sydney, I’ve seen firsthand the difference that well-matched support can make, how it can positively shape a family’s birth and postpartum journey. But how do you choose the doula who’s right for you? Here are some essential things to consider when finding your perfect birth and/or postpartum companion.
1. Identify Your Needs and Preferences
Before beginning your search, take a moment to reflect on what kind of support you’re looking for. Do you want someone with a calm, grounding presence or a more energetic, hands-on approach? Someone with a motherly energy or more of a sisterly vibe? Are you planning a hospital birth, a birth centre experience, or a home birth? If you’d like postnatal support, what timeframe would you like it for? How are you preparing for your birth and postpartum and how does a doula complement or amplify that preparation? What’s your budget? How much experience would you like them to have? Is it important to you that they’re very local?
Clarifying your expectations will help you find a doula whose style aligns with your vision.
2. Ask About Their Experience and Training
Doulas come from all walks of life and have a variety of backgrounds and training. Some have extensive experience with particular birth settings or cultural practices, while others may have specialised skills such as hypnobirthing, massage, or lactation support. Don’t be afraid to ask about their experience, certifications, and the kinds of births they have supported. Remember, it’s not just about years of experience but also about their passion, dedication, and ability to meet your needs.
3. Schedule an Interview or Meet-and-Greet
Once you’ve found a few doulas that seem like a good fit, arrange an initial chat—either in person or over a video call. This is an opportunity to get a feel for their personality and approach. Consider asking clarifying questions like:
What is your philosophy on birth and postpartum support?
How do you support and work with partners during labour?
How might you deal with any tension from staff at our place of birth?
What techniques do you use for comfort and pain management?
Can you share a memorable birth story that highlights your approach?
What kind of postpartum support do you offer?
What does it look like to work with you?
Pay attention to how you feel during the conversation. Do you feel comfortable, safe and listened to? Trusting your instincts is key.
4. Consider the Connection
Beyond skills and experience, the emotional connection between you and your doula is crucial. Birth is an incredibly intimate experience, and you want someone by your side who makes you feel safe, empowered, and supported. If you leave the conversation feeling lighter, reassured, and confident, that’s a great sign that you’ve found the right match.
5. Discuss Logistics and Availability
Ensure that the doula’s availability aligns with your due date. Some doulas take on a limited number of clients per month so they can be fully present for each family. You’ll also want to clarify their fees, payment plans, and what’s included in their services (e.g., prenatal visits, on-call support, postpartum care, etc.). Clear communication about expectations and boundaries will set the stage for a smooth and positive experience.
6. Trust Your Gut
As they say in The Castle movie ‘it’s the vibe of the thing’ - your gut will tell you if this doula is for you. When I teach my hypnobirthing classes I say that my gut is so much smarter than my head every day of my life - so pay attention to yours! At the end of the day, the right doula for you is someone who makes you feel confident, nurtured, and informed. You deserve to feel completely at ease with the person supporting you during this special time.
Final Thoughts
Choosing a doula is a deeply personal decision, and there is no one-size-fits-all answer. Take your time, ask the questions that matter to you, and choose someone who aligns with your values and vision. The right doula will walk alongside you, holding space for your unique birth and postpartum experience with compassion, wisdom, and unwavering support.
If you’re looking for a doula in Sydney, I’d love to connect and see if we’d be a good fit. Your journey matters, and you deserve to be surrounded by the right care team as you bring your baby into the world.